Hello again all.
Recently as some of you may know, there has been some srtong weather here in Philippines. Mainly in Manila which is 600 kilometers away from Cebu, where I am. See here :
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8276347.stm
Here, its gets a little windy, a little bit of rain, and a little cold, which is very unusual in Cebu. Not so cold as to wear a coat, but cold enough that you may consider wearing a t-shirt, for warmth, rather than for hiding your man boobs in polite company.
But I was watching the Filipino news on TV. Its in Tagalog, so I can get the gist of whats going on, but I needed Cheryl to translate some items for me.
So, here are 2 examples of Filipino mentality.
Firstly,
They said they had to open the dam, as it was about to burst, as it was overflowing, which resulted in flash flooding many shanty towns & inhabitants who were living below the dam.
Now, Im not a dam expert, but from what I know of them, and have seen, they are designed to over flow harmlessy over the top of the dam in times of flood.
But consider this, many rich people had homes which were flooded, the people below the dam were poor. Hmmmm!
I speculate the following conversation....
Mayor: Hi, dam manager, I order you to open the dam gates, as my house is nearly flooded.
Dam Manager: But Sir, that will destroy many homes, and kill lots of people
Mayor: Yea, maybe, but what about my LCD TV !! NOW OPEN THE GATES !!
Dam Manager: Yes sir !
Thousands lose their home, but many LCD TV's are saved !!
Secondly,
They interviewed a resident in a different location, who was very unhappy.
He stood in front of a free aid pallet, sent by the government, which had large sacks of rich on it and said....
"This rice is wet, what good is it sending us wet rice. We are hungry. This rice is only good enough to feed my pigs. Send us some dry rice, there are people starving here! "
Has anybody spotted it???
Anyone ??
At that point, I rolled around laughing. Cheryl said, "whats so funny".
My response was, he has lots of pigs, but rather than killing them and feeding his hungry neighbours, he's going on TV complaining the the government efforts are rubbish, as the rice is wet!
I just couldnt believe it when I heard it!
Ya gotta love this country !!
Seriously though, I dont mean it in a derogatory way. Its observation of what actually goes on here!
Monday, September 28, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
The Marcos syndrome
Ferdinand Marcos( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ferdinand_Marcos) was the presidant of the Phils from 1965 to 1986, a very long time!
He was pretty good, until his second term.
In the Phils, just like US, you can only have two terms. He didnt like this, and wanted to keep the power for as long as he could. So he declared Martial law(ie. military rules, you can make 'em up as you go along).
He kept being the president, until a bloodless(ie. no fighting) coup d'état, (which means revolution) happened. This was after his main rival, Ninoy Aquino who was in exile, was shot when he arrived in Manilla Airport(now named after him), before he even left the aeroplane. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/People_Power_Revolution)
NB. Eastern Europe took this as a good example, (as previously revolutions in counties almost always involved tremendous bloodshed), and also had a Coup against Russia, which led to the modern Europe we know today. Basically, how its done, is to get the Military on your side first! Then they wont shoot you, and they wont protect the presidant
The USA rescued him(Reagan backed him, as he was US friendly), and brought him to the USA, then he went to Hawaii, and lived happily ever after(with billions of Phils money).
A well known injustice here.
Now, his wife, Imelda Marcos(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imelda_Marcos) basically has a shoe addiction, she had 3,000 pairs of shoes(not Dunnes Stores, or Marks and Spencers, I mean Manola balanic & Gucci type shoes)
This is where the Marcos Syndrome comes in....
Consider that, and a thing my wife recently said to me, she said....
"Behind every great man, is a great woman"
Now, I cant find the source of this quote, but I shall call it Marcos syndrome!
I prefer my quote of "Behind every great man, is a really nagging woman"
Consider this....
Ferdinand: Hey baby, can I have some of that special thing tonight?
Imelda: Piss off, im not in the mood
Ferdinand: Aww, come on, ill buy you some shoes
Imelda: Hmmm, maybe, what type
Ferdinand: Eh, Gucci shoes?
Imelda: oh, ok so, come here
Ferdinand: will you do that thing with your tongue?
Imelda: for Gucci, no way!
Ferdinand: what about Manola balanic shoes
Imelda: Ohh baby, come to me....
I can see it happening, now he was in power for 21 years, and she had 3000 pairs of shoes, it makes sense if you think about the practicalities of a relationship!
Again, behind every great man, is a nagging wife!
Lets consider this, and look into history...
Napolean....
Napoleans wife: your so small, you dont satisfy me.
Napolean: maybe if I conquer Europe you will give me what I want
Napoleans wife: Maybe, by the way, apparently the best diamonds are in Russia, just thought I'd mention
Napolean: I cant attack Russia yet, it is idiotic to fight on 2 fronts in Europe
Napoleans wife: Hmm, yea, whatever, anyway, I have a headache, im going asleep
Napolean: ok then, Ill attack Russia, but I bet those British are going to piss me off
Napolean's wife: ok, call me when you have diamonds
Hitler....
Hitler: hey baby, wana look after me tonight
Hitlers girl: Maybe, have you conquered Russia yet?
Hitler: Oh no, that would be stupid to attack Russia until I fix the British
Hitlers Girl: Yea, apparently the best diamonds are in Russia.
Hitler: Maybe so, but I cant attack yet
Hitlers Girl: I have a headache, and im going asleep, call me when you have Russian Diamonds
Hitler: RIGHT, FINE, Ill attack Russia, damn it!
Clinton's...
Bill: Hey baby, can I get my special something tnite?
Hillary: Hmmm, I dont like this house
Bill: Uh, what, This house is great
Hillary: No, I dont like it
Bill: What kind of house do you like?
Hillary: We'll there's a real nice house in Washington
Bill: WTF, you mean the Whitehouse???
Hillary: Yea, thats nice
Bill: Damn it, right so, ill go for the Presidancy!
a few years later...
Bill: We'll I got you the White House, hows about that thing you do?
Hillary: You know Russia has really nice diamonds
Bill: Damn it girl, thats a heavy price to pay for oral
a few months later....
Monika: I dont care if you have Russian diamonds or not, im happy with who you are, come here big boy!
Bill: YEA BABY!
Lesson learnt, Men know best ! Just keep us happy!
He was pretty good, until his second term.
In the Phils, just like US, you can only have two terms. He didnt like this, and wanted to keep the power for as long as he could. So he declared Martial law(ie. military rules, you can make 'em up as you go along).
He kept being the president, until a bloodless(ie. no fighting) coup d'état, (which means revolution) happened. This was after his main rival, Ninoy Aquino who was in exile, was shot when he arrived in Manilla Airport(now named after him), before he even left the aeroplane. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/People_Power_Revolution)
NB. Eastern Europe took this as a good example, (as previously revolutions in counties almost always involved tremendous bloodshed), and also had a Coup against Russia, which led to the modern Europe we know today. Basically, how its done, is to get the Military on your side first! Then they wont shoot you, and they wont protect the presidant
The USA rescued him(Reagan backed him, as he was US friendly), and brought him to the USA, then he went to Hawaii, and lived happily ever after(with billions of Phils money).
A well known injustice here.
Now, his wife, Imelda Marcos(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imelda_Marcos) basically has a shoe addiction, she had 3,000 pairs of shoes(not Dunnes Stores, or Marks and Spencers, I mean Manola balanic & Gucci type shoes)
This is where the Marcos Syndrome comes in....
Consider that, and a thing my wife recently said to me, she said....
"Behind every great man, is a great woman"
Now, I cant find the source of this quote, but I shall call it Marcos syndrome!
I prefer my quote of "Behind every great man, is a really nagging woman"
Consider this....
Ferdinand: Hey baby, can I have some of that special thing tonight?
Imelda: Piss off, im not in the mood
Ferdinand: Aww, come on, ill buy you some shoes
Imelda: Hmmm, maybe, what type
Ferdinand: Eh, Gucci shoes?
Imelda: oh, ok so, come here
Ferdinand: will you do that thing with your tongue?
Imelda: for Gucci, no way!
Ferdinand: what about Manola balanic shoes
Imelda: Ohh baby, come to me....
I can see it happening, now he was in power for 21 years, and she had 3000 pairs of shoes, it makes sense if you think about the practicalities of a relationship!
Again, behind every great man, is a nagging wife!
Lets consider this, and look into history...
Napolean....
Napoleans wife: your so small, you dont satisfy me.
Napolean: maybe if I conquer Europe you will give me what I want
Napoleans wife: Maybe, by the way, apparently the best diamonds are in Russia, just thought I'd mention
Napolean: I cant attack Russia yet, it is idiotic to fight on 2 fronts in Europe
Napoleans wife: Hmm, yea, whatever, anyway, I have a headache, im going asleep
Napolean: ok then, Ill attack Russia, but I bet those British are going to piss me off
Napolean's wife: ok, call me when you have diamonds
Hitler....
Hitler: hey baby, wana look after me tonight
Hitlers girl: Maybe, have you conquered Russia yet?
Hitler: Oh no, that would be stupid to attack Russia until I fix the British
Hitlers Girl: Yea, apparently the best diamonds are in Russia.
Hitler: Maybe so, but I cant attack yet
Hitlers Girl: I have a headache, and im going asleep, call me when you have Russian Diamonds
Hitler: RIGHT, FINE, Ill attack Russia, damn it!
Clinton's...
Bill: Hey baby, can I get my special something tnite?
Hillary: Hmmm, I dont like this house
Bill: Uh, what, This house is great
Hillary: No, I dont like it
Bill: What kind of house do you like?
Hillary: We'll there's a real nice house in Washington
Bill: WTF, you mean the Whitehouse???
Hillary: Yea, thats nice
Bill: Damn it, right so, ill go for the Presidancy!
a few years later...
Bill: We'll I got you the White House, hows about that thing you do?
Hillary: You know Russia has really nice diamonds
Bill: Damn it girl, thats a heavy price to pay for oral
a few months later....
Monika: I dont care if you have Russian diamonds or not, im happy with who you are, come here big boy!
Bill: YEA BABY!
Lesson learnt, Men know best ! Just keep us happy!
The Asian Protein & Beer Diet
Firstly, for those who dont know, all my blog entries are meant to be taken "tounge-in-cheek".
Anyway, Iv discovered im losing a little weight. After pondering this, I think iv discovered a whole new way of dieting!
I shall name this "The Asian Protein & Beer Diet"
How you start is is as follows...
Have an initial disliking for rice, then come to a country where most Carbs are obtained through rice.
It must be a hot country, so you sweat like a pig most of the time, even when sitting still, so burning calories without the effort ! When bored, smoke excessively, this will help the diet, and keep Mosquitos away!
Then, the meals are as follows - keep in mind, most meals are served, where you have an empty plate, and the food is served for everybody on 2/3 large plates in the middle of the table, so you pick what you like ! ......
Breakfast, usually you will be given eggs and rice, I dont like rice, so I eat a lot of eggs.
Lunch, usually this is fish and rice, I dont like rice, so I eat a lot of fish(grilled, with head attached, usually overcooked, so lots of carbon(low calorie!)
Dinner, usually pork with lots of fat & bone, and rice, I dont like rice, fat, or bone, so I just eat a small portion of pork meat.
Inbetween meals, sit around sweating a lot, any manual work will take tremendous amounts of energy in the heat, so do something like that, to excell the diet!
In the evening, well you have had no carbs all day, so liberal amounts of beer to wash the protein rich diet down. Preferably my favoured beer, San Mig Light, 5%, and half the carbs(tastes like Heineken)
Next day, repeat!
After a month of this, your clothes fit better, and your wife starts to worry your having an affair.
Much better than weightwatchers!
Anyway, Iv discovered im losing a little weight. After pondering this, I think iv discovered a whole new way of dieting!
I shall name this "The Asian Protein & Beer Diet"
How you start is is as follows...
Have an initial disliking for rice, then come to a country where most Carbs are obtained through rice.
It must be a hot country, so you sweat like a pig most of the time, even when sitting still, so burning calories without the effort ! When bored, smoke excessively, this will help the diet, and keep Mosquitos away!
Then, the meals are as follows - keep in mind, most meals are served, where you have an empty plate, and the food is served for everybody on 2/3 large plates in the middle of the table, so you pick what you like ! ......
Breakfast, usually you will be given eggs and rice, I dont like rice, so I eat a lot of eggs.
Lunch, usually this is fish and rice, I dont like rice, so I eat a lot of fish(grilled, with head attached, usually overcooked, so lots of carbon(low calorie!)
Dinner, usually pork with lots of fat & bone, and rice, I dont like rice, fat, or bone, so I just eat a small portion of pork meat.
Inbetween meals, sit around sweating a lot, any manual work will take tremendous amounts of energy in the heat, so do something like that, to excell the diet!
In the evening, well you have had no carbs all day, so liberal amounts of beer to wash the protein rich diet down. Preferably my favoured beer, San Mig Light, 5%, and half the carbs(tastes like Heineken)
Next day, repeat!
After a month of this, your clothes fit better, and your wife starts to worry your having an affair.
Much better than weightwatchers!
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